Saturday, 22 May 2010

The Obscurati Chronicles- Part 6

Part 6 of The Obscurati Chronicles is up now on Ben's Bookcase:

(Latest HPANWO Voice article:


Anonymous said...

Hi Bro-Po :)

(consider it as my comment for previous 3 parts, as they're sort of simillar and have undenialable continuity - if you know what I mean ;)

You build up story in interesting manner, I'm getting more curious about Charlie and his familly's lifestyle change with every paragraph. Yet, I'd probably concider adding some background of Charlie's change of mind and decisions - f.e. his first thoughts of it in hospital. OK, he explains it to Lucas and we have quotation from book (one more proof, how dangerous written word can be...), yet I'd be nice to get some more background from the man himself. Seems that there's some more than only this book (which you didn't reveal yet, or am I wrong?). Anyway, so far so good. Keep creating and good luck :)



PS: This Pentagon picture from link looks more like gas explosion inside building than plane attack from outside :] Yet another "smoking gun" proof? :P

Ben Emlyn-Jones said...

Hi Bro Po.

Thanks for your comments. The thoughts that have been going through Charlie's head will be revealed in the next few segments. in fact he takes the driving seat for the next few thousand words. Whether this is the right time to reveal his thoughts or not I'm still unsure. I'm already making notes for adaptation to the first draft I've already written. However I'll carry on for now, other wise I might get caught up in what the creative writing teacher Michael Legat calls "Permanent Revision Syndrome". Where an author keeps polishing and polishing Chapter 1 so much that he never gets round to doing Chapter 2 for ages. By the time he's finished Chapter 2 he'll have to go back and revise Chapter 1 to make it fit! And so the cycle goes on and the draft is never completed.

(Yes, I know what you mean about the Pentagon. Planes have hit buildings before and they never left a mark like that!)

See you at the Front!